


A New Day

by heartsdesire456



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Moving On, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9307829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: Max Lightwood-Bane wakes up one morning after a dream about a memory from his childhood and, upon asking his father about it, uses the situation to reflect on his and his father's life together over the past century.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo I posted [this](http://jchelseaw.tumblr.com/post/155750455803/how-to-ruin-a-fandom-in-3-2-1) on tumblr last night and so many people were like "NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!" in the tags and reblogs that I decided to... well, to ruin all of their lives by ACTUALLY doing it.
> 
> Muahahaha

Max woke up from a dream that he thought was probably a memory. He couldn’t remember some of his earliest years of life, though he could remember most of his life in vivid detail, but he was pretty sure the dream he had was probably a memory from when he was three or four years old. It was a nice dream, either way.

However, as the day went on, Max remembered more and more of his childhood and couldn’t help but feel the nice dream was also a bit of a curse, because he couldn’t stop thinking about his life. Being immortal was really weird, he thought sometimes. He was one hundred and twelve years old, so he was reaching the point that even though there were humans who lived to be his age, most everyone he had ever known that wasn’t immortal was gone now. It wasn’t his family and friends he’d lost along the way, that was something else entirely, but the weirdness was from simple things such as the fact he had witnessed a shop owner age from her childhood in her parents store to an old woman who visited her children who ran the store that had belonged to her parents and then her, and recently, he’d seen a wreath on the door of the shop suggesting she had died.

He had been a teenager when she was a little girl and he still looked like a teenager now after she’d lived a long life and died as an old woman. It was just _weird_ to be immortal and that seemed to really be hitting him lately.

The other thing wasn’t weird as much as just painful, Max thought as he walked out into the living room and saw Magnus drinking tea and watching the sunrise. “Are you getting up or going to bed?” Max asked playfully as he passed him on his way to the kitchen. 

“Getting home from dealing with a client,” Magnus explained, and when Max returned with his own mug of tea, he could see the way Magnus’s eyes glowed with the morning sun shining on his warm skin. Max started to make a joke about whether it was the client with the crush on Magnus, but he stopped when he saw a heaviness in the lines of Magnus’s face. “What are you doing up so early?” Magnus asked without looking away from the sunrise. 

Max leaned against the window and thought about whether or not he should be honest, or how he should answer that question. He took a breath, looking down at his tea. Rather than answering, he asked, “Papa, do you ever think about Dad and Rafael?” he asked, and he heard a soft intake of breath. 

When he looked up, he brushed a blue curl out of his way and saw a soft smile on Magnus’s lips, though the tightness in his features showed it to be a conflicted one. Magnus, probably unthinkingly, lifted his hand to the chain around his neck, brushing his fingertips over the gold ring hanging on the chain he always wore, even if it was under his clothes. “All the time, Blueberry,” he said gently, and Max’s throat tightened some at the nickname Magnus usually only ever jokingly called him. 

He hadn’t been called ‘Blueberry’ as anything but a joke since he was a child. 

Max sipped his tea before speaking. “I had a dream that I think was probably a memory. That’s what woke me up.” He smiled, looking down at the steaming mug. “I was running through the Institute with Rafael and Dad was chasing us. I was really little, everything was huge around me. And when we ran around a corner, you grabbed us up and we screamed and laughed, so I guess we were playing chase with you and Dad.”

Magnus chuckled softly. “I remember that. You were about four, I think.” His smile widened and Max was alarmed somewhat to see a tear slip down Magnus’s cheek. “You and your brother were so rambunctious as children. I was lucky Alexander was so athletic, because I could’ve never kept up with you both without someone who had the stamina to keep up with hyper little kids all day.” He quickly raise da hand and wiped his cheek, laughing some. “Oh look at me. I really should get some sleep,” he said dismissively, and Max felt guilty for bringing it up when he saw the sadness in Magnus’s eyes.

Max understood, though. He and Magnus hadn’t always stuck together over the past century, but he had decided to live with Magnus for good, at least for a few decades, after Rafael died. That had been nearly forty years ago. Alec had been gone for over sixty years, now. After his dad’s death, Max had worried about Magnus, because Magnus had always been a very emotional person, but he had mostly been alright. Rafael dying, however, had really messed him up. One of Magnus’s warlock friends explained to Max that, though Magnus had practice in losing loved ones, as most of their kind did, almost no warlock ever had a family, so Magnus had never faced anything as hard as losing a child. Max understood, because losing his brother had been worse than losing his dad, and part of him wanted to stay with Magnus because he, too, felt so much pain from losing his family. 

They had had long, happy lives, though, Max always thought. It was easier for him to think of it that way. (He knew that even if he was his brother, Rafael was Magnus’s son, so it wasn’t so easy to just think of it the way Max did.) Alec lived to be an old man, something most Shadowhunters didn’t get to do, and he and Magnus were together for over sixty years. And rather than wither away from some horrible illness, Alec had been strong and vibrant right up until the day he died peacefully in his sleep, another thing that very few people at all, not just Shadowhunters, got to do. It had been terrible to lose his father, but Max had always made peace with the fact his family members would die while he lived on, and though it wasn’t easy, it was a relief that his father had such a long, happy life and a peaceful death. Rafael, too, had lived to be old and had a full life. Both Dad and Rafael had been _grandfathers_ by the time they died. 

Even when he missed them, it was easy for Max to remind himself that their lives had been as close to perfect as one could wish for. 

But Magnus wasn’t as lucky as Max. He had long realized that Magnus felt things harder than most people Max knew, especially most warlocks. Max wondered if maybe it was his youth, or maybe it was just a matter of personality, but Magnus hadn’t handled their absence as well as Max. Max felt guilty, watching Magnus now, for bringing it up at all. Magnus was still smiling as he looked out the window, but his eyes spilled tears more and more rapidly, until he finally gave a wet laugh. “Papa?” Max asked worriedly, but Magnus just shook his head. 

“It’s just so funny sometimes,” Magnus managed, voice a little warbled. “When you’ve been around for over five hundred years, you get memories that are still so _vivid_. Isn’t that funny?” he asked, and Max reached out, putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. “I can still remember that day you dreamed about so well. Alec and I had so much fun running around playing with you boys. I actually remember thinking, ‘Nothing will ever feel this wonderful’ that very day, when my boys were all laughing and everything was perfect,” he all but whispered. “I miss being around children,” he said suddenly, and Max understood what he meant. Rafael’s grandkids had been the last Magnus ever got to really be involved with. Max had never expected it, but Rafael’s grandkids kids now didn’t ever really have anything to do with Magnus, and they never even introduced him to their children. Magnus’s great-great grandchildren had never even met him or Max. Their parents weren’t against them, not at all, but they were more ‘Christmas card in the mail’ family than close family like Rafael’s kids had been. 

Max smiled sadly and squeezed Magnus’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for bringing it up, Papa,” he whispered, and Magnus shook his head, reaching up to grab his hand and hold it against his shirt. 

“No. It’s a happy memory,” he said softly. He bit his lip. “I just really worry sometimes that I’ll never be that happy again, you know?” he asked rhetorically. “Before Alexander, and before you and Rafael, the happiness I have in my life now would’ve been fantastic, a very high point in my life,” he confided. “And don’t get me wrong, I’m happy with my life,” he added. His smile grew more brittle and Max leaned weight into his hold on Magnus’s shoulder. “I just can’t put into words how bright my life was with a husband and children, Max. I miss that feeling so much I don’t know if I can stand it sometimes.”

Max smiled sadly. “You should try again, then,” he said simply, and he saw the way Magnus rolled his eyes even if he wasn’t looking at him. “I’m serious,” he said with a grin. “Things are very different in the Shadow World than when I was little. You could adopt Downworlder children a lot easier now.”

Magnus scoffed. “Yes, and introduce a couple of toddlers to their one hundred and twelve year old brother.”

“Papa,” Max said more seriously, though still with a gentle smile. He leaned into his side some. “That client that keeps coming around?” He saw the flash of guilt in Magnus’s eyes and Max tapped his shoulder. “He likes you,” he said firmly. “You always brush him off, and I know you like him, too,” he chastised. “You’re never going to get married and adopt kids again if you keep doing that,” he teased.

“Max, come on, I barely even know that man-“ Max cut off his argument by poking him in the blush-stained cheek.

“And that’s why you stop shutting him down when he flirts and actually pay attention,” he encouraged. Magnus looked away and Max sighed, knowing what he was thinking. “Papa, you’ve been alone for a long time.”

Magnus sniffed. “Nonsense. I’ve never been alone, I’ve always had you, Max.” He smiled overly-sweetly. “I’m never alone when I have my beautiful blue baby boy-“

“Dad wouldn’t want you to keep doing this,” Max said suddenly, and he knew he was being a little harsh, but Magnus needed it. Magnus looked just as jarred as Max thought he would be.

“Max…” Magnus trailed off, looking away again, and Max just smiled.

“Every time I’ve ever seen anybody try to get close to you, you push them away,” Max said carefully. “I got it at first, and I do still understand, but Papa, do you know how pissed Dad would be if he knew you had spent sixty years refusing to even try to let anybody in?” Magnus ducked his head and Max couldn’t see his face anymore. “It would break his heart to see you lonely, Papa.”

Magnus, alarmingly, gave a wet sniffle. “It isn’t that easy, Max.”

“You once told me that the nature of being immortal is continually being able to start over,” Max said gently. “You told me it’s never easy, and it never gets easier, but it’s a fact of life. I know it’s harder because I’m here, and I’m a constant reminder of your old life.” Max hummed. “Maybe I should go for a while. Travel again. Maybe if I’m not here, you can start over easier,” he suggested.

Magnus laughed weakly. “Unlike some of my previous lives, Max, the one I lived being the husband of a Shadowhunter wouldn’t be any easier to start over from just because of the issue of proximity to my son.” He shook his head. “No, you’re right,” he said simply. “I’ve never spent this much time living like a hermit. Before I met Alexander, I was a social butterfly, and after you boys were old enough we weren’t exhausted all the time, I lived for parties and fun, and I took Alec with me all over the world just enjoying life.” He gave Max a wet smile. “Even after he was gone, we still had a lot of a sense of family with Rafael and his kids and grandkids. I was still a family man for a while. And then losing your brother…” Magnus trailed off and Max knew what he meant, with how he hadn’t handled it well. “Then slowly growing apart from all the others, and not wanting to go anywhere or do anything… I got so used to being the boring hermit who just did work and nothing else.” He shook his head. “And you’re right. I miss having friends and going out and traveling and partying.” He closed his eyes and Max watched a few tears fall. “But starting over is such a hard thought, Blueberry. I’ve done it every few decades for all my life, but the past century has been one lifetime, so starting over feels so much harder than it was before that.”

Max grinned. “Just because something’s hard doesn’t mean you can’t do it,” he said, and Magnus laughed wetly, knowing that Max was quoting him again. 

Magnus nodded, looking out the window again. “True, such wise words are very true.” He sighed, wiping at his face. “And you’re right about your father,” he added. “He’d be so pissed at me for spending so much time all sad and alone. He’d be all offended that I’d turned into someone other than the madman he married,” he said with a smile that was still sad, but much lighter now. “He always told me that after he was gone, I was allowed ten years to grieve, fifteen at most, before I found somebody else to love me at least half as much as he did,” he said with a fond smile. “He’d say, ‘Babe, you’re too easy to fall in love with to be alone, so you’re allowed to miss me, but you’re not allowed to be sad forever.’ Guess he’d be pretty pissed at me,” Magnus joked.

Max laughed, nodding. “That sound exactly like something Dad would say,” he agreed, making Magnus smile. 

“Yeah, he sure would.” Magnus scrunched his nose and sighed. “Eurgh, I need to go to bed,” he said dramatically. “I’m way too tired for all this emotional shit.” Max snorted and rolled his eyes. Magnus stretched and sighed. “I’m going to sleep, you freakish morning person. If anybody comes by, tell them I died,” he said as he turned and headed to his bedroom.

Max smirked. “Give your favorite client your number? Oh yes, I can definitely do that,” he called and Magnus flipped him off over his shoulder. “That’s not a no!” he called and Magnus just slammed the door with a snap. Max looked over at Magnus’s phone, lying innocently on the windowsill, and contemplated whether or not he should send a sneaky text to Magnus’s admirer, asking him to come over to ‘talk business’ later that afternoon. He knew that Magnus just needed a push to get back out into the world again, and a great way to start would be to score a date with the guy he absolutely knew Magnus already had a bit of a thing for already.

Looking back out the window, Max decided to go finish his tea in his room, first, and then decide how to best meddle in his father’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> I accept tear-soaked tissues as payment for my services!


End file.
